By Volante blogger Taylor Poro
Halloween is less than a week away, but how can college students have fun during what is decidedly a children’s holiday? Halloween can still be enjoyable for those whose beards make trick or treating impossible. The trick is creativity, planning and not caring what people think about you.
First of all, who says that 18, 19, or even 23 is too old to go trick or treating? It’s free candy and veiled blackmail (unless your tricks are just empty threats) given out by people who obviously don’t understand the concept of bartering. Trick or treating can still be done as long as candy is more important than dignity.
Try dressing up as a very tall kid. The costume involves gear from the local high school, pins from whatever is hip and happening with the young people and an external costume so it doesn’t look like the tall kid isn’t wearing a costume. Shaving is also a must, because nothing says opportunistic college kid like a full beard. This goes for trick or treaters without Y chromosomes as well.
If that doesn’t work, try trotting out a young sibling as an excuse to go trick or treating. Kids have to be good for something, right? Free candy is just about the only reason to have kids or put up with siblings.
For those who don’t want free candy, there are always Halloween pranks. The purpose here is to find a group of people that deserves to be pranked. Nothing makes a person seem like a bigger jerk than tormenting an unsuspecting person for no reason. If you’re going to hassle people, choose those that deserve it.
“Twilight” fans are always a good choice to hassle because it’s actually quite scary. Nothing livens up a boring Halloween more than finding a pile of hate letters and death threats in your mailbox because you claimed “Twilight” fans aren’t smart enough to be considered people. The fear subsides quickly though considering the letters are written with sparkly glitter ink and each “i” is dotted with a heart.
The campus jerks are also a good target. If eggs are to be thrown (and history shows that they must), target the jerk that holds up the line because he’s on the phone, or the guy that plays loud music in his room at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday. Never go after the nice guy, karma sucks.
Dressing up is a must for the holiday, but as what? The pre-packaged costumes from Wal-Mart seem to come in two categories, insulting and slutty. Maybe I’m getting old, but who wants to see a slutty brick house? Then there are the “nerd” costumes and “trailer park king costumes.” Maybe it’s not the best idea to make costumes out of a sizable chunk of your consumer base.
Try buying costume supplies from Civic Council which has a much larger supply of items to choose from. As for costume ideas, too many costumes these days are unoriginal. Slutty Dorothy, sugar daddy — OK, we get it. Make a costume that no one could reasonably figure out without being told. The Doppler Effect, as shown on “Big Bang Theory” or a favorite character from a movie or television show no one has ever heard of. Being recognizable is for N00Bs.
As for entertainment, there are a variety of options on campus this weekend. The monster bash, which is being held in Julian Brookman lounge Oct. 30, will have good music, food, prizes and costume contests. There are also a number of great movies playing. “Zombieland” will still be in theaters (if not here than Sioux Falls or Sioux City, Iowa) as will “Where the Wild Things Are,” and “Paranormal Activity.”
These are a number of ways to enjoy Halloween as a college student. These aren’t the only ways though, do whatever seems fun interesting but not felonious. A funeral might make a good event too and everyone can come to mine after the “Twilight” fans read this and carryout their sparkly terrorism.
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