By Volante Blogger Frederick Adams

Aw man, slept in at twelve o’clock, what was I thinking? Well better get dressed for my wonderful day. I should check my Gmail. Gmail, I love that word because I am awesome. Well look at that, I have some e-mail. The VMAs are today? I certainly hope my girl, Be, will win “Best Female Video.” Hopefully today I will use my awesome mind skills to actually speak correctly. No one apprehends words that come out of my mouth. They are not the words that I am actually thinking.
I should find something nice to wear. Oh like this cardigan sweater, hopefully the mothballs didn’t stink it up too much. Are you kidding me? My pink and orange sweater became a pink and orange baby shirt?! I can’t wear this tonight for the VMAs I need to find something else. Well I have this black button down with jeans, it really brings out my photographic brown eyes. Everything else is at the cleaners in Denmark.
Well I am at the VMAs. I surmised to wear glasses because the lights on stage hurt my corneas. I sure hope “Be” wins. It would be mortifying for her if she didn’t. Why would you let a country singer win at a music award show? It just doesn’t make sense.
Okay, it’s time for Beyoncé to win this award, I know she has this in the bag. No one has a chance except for my girl. The tension for her to win is making my stomach hurt. The winner is, please be Beyoncé, please be “Be”, come on ex- Destiny… TAYLOR SWIFT!!! Wait, what are you doing body. Don’t go up there. Calm yourself. Sit back in that chair. Just look like you are going to make an important call. Why are you getting on that stage! Why are you going up to Taylor! Why are you taking that microphone out of her hand?! What are you saying?!
“Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for ya. I’ll let you finish. But Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all times.”

You idiot, what are you doing! This is going to ruin our reputation!

“One of the best video’s of all time!”

That’s it. I am not giving you anymore advice. You are a ridiculous human being. Don’t even try and think because your conscious is out of here.